


Lost Stars

by BlossomofFireandRain



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And not warning about things, Awkward Sex, Bulges and Nooks, Eridan being somewhat gross, First Time, Human Karkat, Karkat plotting a couch's death, M/M, Reincarnation, Tentabulges, after the game, life length differences, set in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomofFireandRain/pseuds/BlossomofFireandRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you find something after you think it's gone forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some random picture popped up on tumblr, though I can't remember which, and made me think of time and overlaying relationships and such. This may have a second part, we'll just have to see.

He's been sitting there, rolling a pocket watch around and around in his hands, and you're starting to feel put out by it.

Everything about him says "douche." From the purple streak in his hair, to the tight striped pants, it all says douche. Of course it's all worn, keeping you from hating him entirely. Barely anyone comes through here with stuff that doesn't look used, this station is out in the boonies in comparison to a lot of them, but his outfit still screams "I claim to have a sense of style." 

Even so, you're having trouble pulling away from cleaning the tables to go shoo him off. He just looks....tired. He's one of the other races, trolls, you think? Supposedly they used to be ruled by a cruel empress, but something happened, and now all that's left is small remnants of their race. 

To be fair, they look more suited to it than you, with their gray thick skin and yellow eyes, but this one seems a little different..... For one thing he hasn't got the stereotypical elf ears they all seem to have going on. (You do _not_ care if that is speciest, they're freaking elf ears.) He's got delicate looking fins instead, and you have to wonder why something that looks like it was made for the water would go out here to the dry space. (Rhetorical question of course, but still.....) 

You really can't pretend to be cleaning up anymore, and toss your rag aside before deciding to confront the odd drifter. With a huff you turn to stomp over, but then move far more silently than you appeared ready to do so. 

"HEY. WERE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMEONE?"

Oh excellent opening. You would applaud your wonderful conversational skills, but that would require taking your hands off your face. He seems startled, and you see him slide away the watch before turning to you, and then looking puzzled.

"No? Can I do somethin' for you? This is a free place to sit, right?"

He's still looking at you oddly, and you feel irritated that you had to go and bug him. 

"NO, YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE AND I WAS....I WAS WONDERING."

"Yeah.... Wwas lookin' for old stars that havven't been here in too long..." 

He looks tired by that, and you suddenly get the sudden irrational thought that he must never be able to cover up his feelings, that he always wears them firmly on his face, and you shove under the feeling that that brings up in you. 

'WELL WE'VE GOT A METRIC FUCKTON OF STARS OUT HERE. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR?"

He laughs a soft heh, and pulls back out the watch. 

"A long time ago there used to be stars that wwe thought made pictures, and you could see them from here." He smiles at the watch, looking at it closely, then seems to curl in on himself a bit. "For some reason I thought tryin' to see them and seein' that they were gone would help..."

Seeing him like this is bothering you. You don't really know what to say to that, but you have to say something. 

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE WATCH YOU KEEP BRINGING OUT?" 

He looks up, then opens his hand up to show you. 

"See? All around the edge it's got all the old constellations in order." 

You do not see. All you see are faint golden dots connected by pale silver lines. Still, his face is brighter now, and for some reason that makes it okay. 

"But noww most of them are only somewwhat there.... Stars die...." 

Oh shit. He's melancholy again. 

"WHY WOULD A BUNCH OF STARS BE IMPORTANT TO YOU ANYWAY?"

Oo! For a second you think you've said the exact wrong thing, and start to brace to move, but then his shoulders settle back down, and he takes a deep breath.

"I'd get pissed at you, but it ain't your fault for not knowwin'. I used to havve a bunch of....friends, and not all of them are here noww..... " He runs his thumb over the markings on the watch and continues. "Each of them claimed one of the signs as their owwn, cause of stuff, and so wwe all had one to ourselvves, before our.." he visibly searches for a word. "...Siblings?.... That's what humans call them right? Wwell, our siblings shared them wwith us too. So my brother has the same one as me. But some of our friends ain't alive anymore, and for a wwhile their signs wwere still there, but noww not evven those are there anymore...." 

Nope. Nope. You aren't doing anymore mopey sead- troll alien. 

"TELL ME ABOUT THEM." you demand imperiously, trying to keep him from going down whatever mind path he's on, even as you move from leaning against the railing to actually sitting near him. 

He looks kind of bemused and amused by your order, but does as you say.

"Wwell, we're all kind of crazy. Or wwere. Like I used to think some of them wwere normal and I wwas the only crazy one, but no. Wwe all are. One of them is this crazy fishy girl. She barely leavves her place though. And there's this clown cultist. He spends a lot of time with the fish girl. Heh. You actually evven remind me of one of them. You evven havve his eyes. But that mutation started showwin' up in humans a long time ago, right?" 

You reach up and try to tug your forelock over your eyes. You wish you'd worn your contacts today. True, other humans did have them, but even among some of the more wild colorations caused by spending your entire life in space, your eye color was unusual. You look up in time to see a hand near your head, before he pulls it away, looking even more bemused than before. 

"Tell me about you. I'vve told you all my deep dark stuff, you tell me about you." 

Oh gee. Where do you start. _Why_ would you start? This kind of stuff is why you hate conversations.

"WELL LET'S SEE. I LIVE OUT IN THE BOONIES IN A SAD LITTLE PLACE THAT SUPPOSEDLY ORBITS THE REMAINS OF THE HUMAN HOMEWORLD, I WORK A DEAD-END JOB WHERE THE ONLY INTERESTING THING IS THE DRIFTERS THAT COME THROUGH, MY BOSS IS A DOUCHEY BRAT WITH A HATRED TOWARDS SWEETS, AND I GET HIT BY SUDDEN URGES TO TALK TO HANDSOME STRANGERS FOR NO GOOD REASON. HAPPY YOU ASKED?"

"You think I'm handsome?"

"I NEVER SAID THAT!"

He laughs, and you're about ready to put him or yourself through the bench, the fact that it's metal be damned, but the earnest smile spreading across his face stops you, and you freeze at how much younger it makes him look. 

"Wwhat's your name?"

"KARKAT VANTAS, AND NO, IT IS NOT A REFERENCE TO CATS AT ALL, NOR IS IT AN INVITATION FOR COMMENTS ON MY ASS."

He stares at you with wide yellow eyes, and you try to maintain it, before dropping your eyes to watch your hands play with your pants. 

"Kar?...... "

You look up to find hands in your face again, only this time he's not stopping. He pulls your chin up, looking in your face for _whatever,_ and you're about to have a meltdown, _because someone strange is putting their hands all over your **face,**_ except... You're not. You actually feel strangely calm and anticipatory, and you try to find the signs of a freakout in your body, but can't. You just feel vaguely twitchy, and like you're missing something. 

He's looking at you like he can't even believe his own eyes, and you reach up to pull a hand off your face, and only end up pinning it there, lost in how familiar the skin of it feels. Your other hand reaches out before coming to rest on his cheek, and oh, that feels so right. Like you've been missing something, and you just found it. For a moment your sight flickers, and you see your hand as gray as his against his face, with the same yellow talons, and you have to blink for a second, before they return to their normal hue. 

The moment passes, and you suddenly remember you're touching some drifter's face, and he's touching yours, and you quickly jerk your hands down and shake your head, knocking his off in the process. 

"Sorry.... I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME. PAST ME IS A IDIOT, LIKE ALWAYS." 

He's looking down at his lap, but at that, he looks up and smiles at you again, even though you think you can see purple trails gathering around his eyes. 

"Yeah.... Me too, Kar....."

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IT'S KARKAT, NOT KAR- AW, WHATEVER....." You'll probably gripe about it the next time he calls you that, but for now.... For now, it's okay....

"I think I'll stick around for a wwhile..... Knoww any good places to stay?"

Yeah, you think this is okay.


	2. CHapter 2: How You Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because you've found something again, doesn't mean it's always comfortable.

His name’s Eridan Ampora.

He stands at 7’4” to your 5’5”, and has to pull his knees up to lay on your couch. He eats all your popcorn and watches movies with you, and heads back to his ship afterwards, no matter what the time. You are more than a little bothered by how comfortable this feels. On the days you work, he comes by and orders something small while he reads off his palm display, sipping a cup of coffee, sometimes long after it gets cold without realizing until he gets pulled out of his text. The sight of him curled into a booth, really too tall for it, is oddly endearing, and makes something inside you feel warm. He’s not there all the time, but when he is, the comfort of it puts you off balance.

He hasn’t touched you since the first time though.

Yeah, knees have knocked and thighs have bumped while trying to fit both of you comfortably on your couch for another movie, but he hasn’t touched you like he did the first time.

At first you were wary for it, braced against both that wide-eyed look of his and your own reaction to it, but as time passed and he never made a move to, you relaxed, and just continued to enjoy being around him.

He’s long and lanky, somehow still looking a bit like a overgrown puppy long after he shouldn’t anymore. He cries at movies with you, and the purple tears make you both want to see more, and make them never show up again. He has the weirdest obsession with how different flooring feel under his bare feet, and will sink his toes in and out of your area rug in front of your couch while he watches movies with you. When you’re both movied out, and just zoning he’ll tell you wild stories about some of the other people he knows, and what they’ve all done. He talks about some grand adventure they went on, and sometimes you’re confused as to whether he’s talking about something real and terrifying, or some reality video game. You haven’t said anything though, because you’re probably just misunderstanding. He argues with you about stuff, but never _argues_ with you, and then once it’s done, laughs as easily as before. In short, he’s done everything right, and now you’re wondering why he hasn’t tried to touch you.

He wants to, you think. He’ll start a motion, and then stop it, shifting it into something else. Or you’ll look up during the movie and see him watching you, eyes dark in the dim lighting, and you wonder if he’s going to reach out and pull you close to him, but he never does.

You think you might want him to touch you.

Touching is….complicated. Words, man, words you can use to keep people at a distance. Just screech long enough and anyone will get tired of it. But touch? Touch is complicated. Touch has potential, possibility, chance, and there’s no clear cut if a touch is going to be good or bad. Once it happens, it’s happened.

But you still think you might want him to touch you. Maybe nothing too serious, just…..lean against him. Maybe slide a arm around his waist. Maybe get him to wrap a arm around your shoulders. That doesn’t sound too bad at all. During the movies it’d be…nice, you think.

It’s these type of thoughts you’re having when you zone out enough that you drop a stack of plates of your foot. Thank fuck for plastiglass, but shit does your foot hurt! None of the dishes are broken, and your boss looks over your ankle before declaring it just badly bruised, but none of that is any kind of improvement to your mood as you leave. Luckily you’re supposed to meet Eridan for movies against tonight, and he said he’d wait for you outside the shop, and oh, look, here’s the over-sized douche now. You’re cursing through your teeth as you hobble over to him, and he looks vaguely affronted before noticing how you’re walking.

“Kar…Wwhat the fuck did you do?”

Regardless of how casual the question sounds, he’s already crouching down to look at your foot, and you hiss through your teeth as you place a little too much weight on it.

“FUCKING DROPPED A SHITTON OF DISHES ON IT LIKE A DUMBASS. COME ON, LET’S GET TO MY PLACE ALREADY.”

You’re huffing and breathing through your nose, and he’s giving you side-look after side-look as you both walk (or try to on your part) towards your place, and between the pain and the looks you’re about to explode. That reaction gets defused when he stops and asks if you would just like to ride on his back.

“WHAT, SERIOUSLY?” You’re staring at him and trying to decide if you want to get angry cause he thinks you can’t walk by yourself, or if you want to just climb on his back already, cause fuck, your foot hurts!

“C’mon, Kar. Look, it evven looks a bit swwollen noww….. It’s just a couple more blocks to your place…” He looks resolute, although a bit like he’s bracing himself for something, and you’re about to shoot your mouth off when it hits you. You can touch him during this. That thought flares like a circuit in your brain, and you find yourself huffing out a “FINE” before you even get a chance to really think about it. Well, shit, can’t back out now.

He looks vaguely shocked and off-balance, before he’s quickly positioning himself in front of you. With one hand you take a grip on his shoulders before he’s sliding his hands under your thighs and lifting you up so that you’re braced on his back.

Both of you are completely silent after that. Your entire array of senses are focused on him. On the way his body feels, the temperature of it against you, the way the muscles move under the skin, the shift of your body against his as he walks, the strength in his hands under your thighs. It’s….Wow, this is a lot to feel. You’re stiff, and you know you’re stiff, but it’s not for any of the reasons you’d thought you’d be stiff. It just is a lot. His hair smells good, and you have the ridiculous mental image of you leaning forward to sniff it, and wow, you’re gonna have a freak out, but not for any of the assumed reasons.

It’s still kind of nice, and you like the way his shoulders move under your arms, and he just feels good. Yeah, it’s a lot, but even so, it’s a lot of positive, and you kind of drift into a world where it’s just the shift of his body under yours in a rhythm that’s very peaceful. 

All too soon he’s stopping, and you’re realizing you’re at your home, and do you really have to get off? You do anyway, despite your reluctance, and try to get your face under control before he sees how mixed up you are right now. He coughs a bit, and you look at him wide-eyed before flushing and hurrying to search for your key. You slide it in quickly, stumbling into your apartment, thankful as fuck that it’s on the first floor.

“Kar… Are you okay?…”

You look up quickly from the popcorn you’re messing with. “YEAH? SURE? FUCK, HELP ME GET THIS STARTED AND GRAB THE MOVIE.”

Whatever it was he was worried about, your response seems to have settled his mind, and he goes straight into fuss mode.

“Don’t you think you should put some ice on that?”

“ON WHAT? MY FOOT? FUCK, NO, I’M READY TO WATCH MOVIES NOW. WORK FUCKING SUCKED, IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER REALITY THAT DOESN’T SUCK DICKS.”

“Kar, get some ice.” Despite having said that, he’s already pulling open your freezer to pull out some and load it into a towel, making little noises under his breath which you suppose are about you, and you just huff and let him settle you on the couch with the ice on your foot.

He’s sprawled next to you, legs all stretched out in their lanky glory, when you decide you want to try again. So you shift around till you’re leaning against him, and slowly lay your head against his shoulder while watching him through your lashes. He stares at you, looking nervous and unsure, before gingerly adjusting to put his arm around your shoulder. You snuggle down into it stiffly and snigger silently at how awkward he seems. He smiles to the side when he thinks you’re focused on the screen again.

You were right. This is nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point there may be smut, I just feel there are some elements from the first chapter that have to be addressed.


	3. What You Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where what Karkat knows and Eridan knows comes into conflict.

He's cool against you, a weird mixture of your reflected heat and his chill between the two of you as he sleeps, but right now your mind is completely occupied with thoughts that dance the line between impossible and and improbably.

The movie's long been over, just you and him in a dim twilight of a muted looping menu screen, and now that you've muted it, there's nothing left to distract you from your thoughts.

He's hiding something.

Oh, you knew he was strange. He's such an odd mixture of comfortable and different from everything you know that he can't be anything _but_ strange to you. And you knew he probably had his own secrets and skeletons, but you never thought any of them would involve him actively hiding something from you.

To make matters worse, you have your own twisting thought issues, and between the his and yours, you're beginning to feel strangely tense.

It's just that when you first met him, he talked about his friends and the constellations that they had all claimed in some weird way as their own. And since that time you've had opportunity to look at the pocket watch he keeps, matching them up against your own research, and finding out they're the ones the human race used to assign to 12 parts of the earth year. And since then, he's talked about himself and 10 friends. 10. 12 markings on his watch, him and 10 friends, but the implication that all the markings there meant something.

He's ripped on his friends, and talked about awful things he and they have done to each other, so you're disinclined to believe it's because someone did something unforgivable.

(Frankly it all sounds a little insane to you, but eh, not your friends.)

So why doesn't he talk about the last one?

He's talked about a nerdy one that he liked to fight with, a goofy fishy one that still sounds a bit creepy to you, a Fashionable and Pretentious One, (and listening to him imitate her is hilarious,) one that wears clown makeup, and many others, but never anyone else. He mentions other people, but never in the same way he mentions these 10, so you can only assume none of them are part of that 12. Also, he said you reminded him of one of them, and none of them sound anything like you.

It wouldn't really bother you, except he always feels like he's edging around something when he talks about them. When he talks, it seems like he's leaving something out, and why would he leave something out? You've talked about big things at this point. You've talked about why you twitch when people touch you, and why he doesn't like to be poked in the stomach, and hard things! So why this?

And then you add in your own stuff. Lately you've been having......dreams...... You mean, you have dreams all the time, but ever since Eridan showed up they've gotten weird. You huff through your nose at the thought of them even while you play with the tail end Eridan's purple streak.

You're.....different in these dreams. You look like Eridan a bit, as much of you as you can see. Gray skin, yellow claws, a texture to it that you only see on Eridan now. You see yourself doing horrible strange things. Dragging a skinny bleeding troll while screaming obscenities under your breath, pulling your fingers through green slimy stuff that you're laying in, a strange monster that you feel no fear of, instead, only warm safety. You see yourself gaping at the most long-wind insufferable douche you have ever met, and you've met a lot of douches. But you have no idea where this is coming from, and to make it worse, Eridan keeps unconsciously affirming what you're dreaming. He recently talked about what he slept in on his ship. You are now both disgusted and worried, because it sounds a awful lot like what you dreamed about.

You thump your head back on the couch. What the fuck are you supposed to do about any of this? Ask him? Oh yeah, that will go over well. 'HEY, ERIDAN, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN THE MOST PLEASANT DOUCHE I'VE EVER HAD THE DRIPPING EVER-FLIPPING PLEASURE OF BEING AROUND, BUT WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?" He twitches and presses a little closer to you at your snort, and you have to clamp your teeth together not to make some pathetic noise at how cute it was.

Eventually you just let your head fall back and slip under into sleep.

You're... Okay, wow, that's Eridan. He....Wow, no, you will not indulge in any aw-ing or oo-ing at what looks like a teen-Eridan. He looks even more like a puppy, if that was possibly, all limbs and awkward movement, like he's not sure how legs work all the time. But damn. You've seen him make some sad faces, but none before that were ever that discontent....... You're looking over a display screen at him, and he's interacting with skinny troll who's apparently not bleeding right now. To skinny troll's right is a tall rounded girl who's got the same fishy fins on the side of her face that Eridan does, and shit, you've never seen someone exude that much confidence. She braces her hands on her hips, and looks at Eridan from under her eyebrows, and if it wasn't for the fact that Eridan had _told_ you he'd been a royal douche to a lot of his friends at one point, you'd be feeling a lot more irritated at her. Even so, you feel a fierce sort of protectiveness bubble inside you that has _nothing_ to do with the reality of this place. It's almost separate from the feelings you think you're _supposed_ to be having here.

He turns and huffs off, and you watch him go, torn between two sets of feelings, one that's filled with pity and 'but you deserved that, dude,' and the other that wants to run after him and make that horrible set of his shoulders go away. You wonder why the you in this dream doesn't feel as strongly as you do now. It's a mess of emotions in your chest, and you're trying to change things when you feel something move against your stomach.

That's apparently enough to pull you out of your dreams in time to see Eridan shove his face into your chest and wrap his arms around you.

"You're real. You're here..." He mumble, half to himself and half to you. Little tremors shake his body against yours.

"ERIDAN. ERIDAN! WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG?" Shit, it's like being wrapped in some of those sticky sheets. You try pulling his head up, and only manage to pull his hair a bit, before he finally looks up at you, not crying now, but definitely having been so before.

"ERI- Eridan..... What the fuck's wrong?"

He manages a luke-warm smile. "Dreams. It's nothin', Kar."

For whatever reason that prompts you to ask all quiet and low, "Why don't you ever talk about your 12th friend?"

Oops. You didn't know he could turn that color. He stares at you a moment, before bracing himself on the couch to push himself off of you.

"It's nothin', Kar. Just- Just haven't gotten around to it."

He pulls himself up and off you and turns away even while you ask some more.

"Well, would you tell me now?"

"Kar, not- Not noww! Look, I don't feel good! I'm headin' back, I'll talk to you later."

And with that he's gone.


	4. Who You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now they both know what Eridan's been hiding.

You gape at the door. Did he really- Did he seriously- He really left! Without saying why, without making any plans to hang out again, without any lingering, without- Wow. He didn't even hug you before he left. You'd actually come to really like that.

You sit on the couch a bit more, flipping the blanket end back and forth as you try to process all of this. Eventually you actually haul yourself to your bedroom to curl up in your bed. The blankets don't seem to help the cold spot in your chest.

He doesn't come by the cafe the next day. You send him a message when you get off, but don't get a reply till the next day, short and unsatisfying. It's not till 2 days after that that you send him a short "I'M SORRY."

It's the next day, when you're off and were planning to ask him to come by before this all went down that you find him outside your apartment.  
He looks tired and sheepish, but also resolute.

"Can I come in?"

"I DON'T KNOW, YOU GONNA STORM OFF AGAIN?"

You may be just a little hurt.

He wince, and says "Not until you kick me out....."

You agree.

He tells you things. He pulls out holos and shows you his friends. You feel a sick twist in your stomach when you recognize older versions of people you've seen in your dreams. He shows you a holo of the 12th friend. Unlike all the rest, it's flat and not 3d, and the troll in it seems fairly young. You mean they all look younger than he tells you they are, but this one.... This one looks like a human in his early 20's. Maybe actually his teens. He also looks a lot like you. You get what Eridan meant when he said you remind him of him. He has red eyes. He says that this troll died in a accident, and that they barely got there in time to save the other friend that had been with him. He says this troll's name was Karkat. You feel sick. You ask if he was something special to Eridan, and Eridan's pause tells you everything before he even answers you. You ask if you're a replacement. You feel comforted by the brokenness of his face when you say that, and allow him to pull you against him, even while you keep your arms clasp around yourself. He tells you that he thinks you're him reborn. You hum a bit, thinking about your dreams before you ask what he would do if you aren't.

"I'm already in too far to givve you up, evven if you aren't him."

It's not a terrific answer, but knowing he feels like he couldn't leave even if your dreams mean nothing is comforting. You ask if you're different. 

"A little. You're quieter in some wways. But you still rant at movvies.":

He laughs a small sigh of a laugh at that.

"But Kar, you're not a replacement. You're wwho you are, and evverythin' you do, evvery little unconscious habit, that's wwhat I see. I thought at first it might be an accident, but you just keep on being...wwell, you! And I wwould like that evven if I didn't think you wwere him."

You stare at the holo.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES OF YOU TOGETHER?"

He slowly pulls out another flat holo and shows it to you.

They look....good. Eridan looks a lot younger, and he's making the same face he makes at you. His Karkat (a phrasing that's stinging in your gut) wears a mishmash of expressions, torn between scowling and smiling, one step from breaking into laughter.

You reach out and silently click it off. He's looking at you like he's afraid you're gonna make him leave, and honestly you might. You probably would have before had it not been for your dreams and that he hasn't been too weird before this, not in ways that scare you.

You look at him and you're torn. Because what you had before you heard this was really good. You've never felt so important to anyone before this. He pulls up weird feelings in you that make you want to keep him safe and yet hide inside him. And then he goes and says this.

"LOOK.....LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.....I...I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY....."

Even though that statement makes him look tense and worried, you still make him leave for a while. You still let him hug you before he goes though, the coolness of him soothing you even when you don't want to be soothed.

You waste the rest of you day on twisting circles of thoughts. What if what if what if. How do you mesh this, how does this make you feel, what are you going to do, can you still be with him, whatever this thing is you have? When you finally pass out into sleep you're no closer to an answer than you were before.

It's more of the same that you find yourself in, more dreams of gray, but this one feels a bit different. You see people, both trolls and humans, all around you. Everyone's hugging and cheering and crying, people smooshing their faces to each others, some obviously just caught in the moment, others not pulling apart once they start. People clasping hands and bouncing in circles, others trying to be really put together while being bowled over by hugs, some even floating mid-hug. You turn, feeling something brush against your back, and see teen-Eridan right as he pulls you into a kiss. It's exuberant and new, and when he pulls back he's grinning even as he's apologizing for it. You've....You've....You've.....

You've won!

You sit up in bed like you were struck by lightning. Oh my god. Oh my god. You run your hands over your scalp quickly, feeling for horns that aren't there as you try to mesh your two sets of memories. You stare at your very un-gray skin. No way. No way. You feel a burn of excitement. You _remember._

Getting dressed is frustratingly hard when you're trying not to run screaming through the hive- apartment. Figuring out how to get to his ship while keeping your cussing below your breath is harder. You run the whole way to the docks, eagerly searching for his number. When you finally find his ship, a faded purple space/planetside model, it's all you can do to keep from banging on the hull of it while you page him. You page him and you page him before he finally (finally!) answers the page with a cranky "You better havve a damn good reason for pagin' me!"

"ERIDAN." you say, and there's a soft pause, before he mutters a quick "I'll be right out" and signs off.

When he peeks out, subdued bearing all wrong with his stature, all mussed and tired-looking, you can almost feel yourself glowing.

"Kar, wwhat's wwrong, did somethin' happen? You'vve nev-"

"I REMEMBER."

One phrase and it stuns him into silence.

"You- You wwhat?"

The look on his face is completely worth this.

"I REMEMBER." And this time you can't keep yourself from grinning. He stares at you before crushing you to his chest while making mumble-y sobby disconnected words. 

Eventually you both head into his ship, the high of energy leaving you, but neither willing to let go at the moment. He's got a god-awful purple couch bolted down in the main room, and you spend a inordinate amount of time cooing at each other as you lounge on it, trembly and exhausted, but immensely satisfied.

He's yours. He's never been anyone else's. Not some other Karkat's. Even Feferi's never had the claim on him that you have. And it's this thought that follows you into a dreamless sleep against his chest.


	5. Same You, Different Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and Eridan explore body differences even as they explore their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I believe this is the end! Sorry for it taking so long! There may be some short stories in this 'verse at some point, but as of now, we are done.

You may have remembered your past life, but it hasn’t offered you much help in anything useful.

It’s not like It’s incredibly clear, just unblurred enough so you remember things like winning the game and the crash that took you out, and nearly ended Sollux. You’re not quite sure how you’re gonna face him now. Frankly you’re torn between never talking to him, and calling him up now and saying, “HEY ASSMUNCH, GUESS WHO’S BACK." Eridan always looks way too thrilled with that idea. That’s not stopping you from contemplating it like it should.

And important people. You remembered important people too. Honestly you’re glad for it, as awkward as it’s made things for a while, you have a free continue, you’ve got a boyfriend who’s levels of adorableness is only matched by his whiny levels, and this whole event has knocked you out of the rut you were in, making you actually think about what you want to do now. Eridan hasn’t said anything about going to visit some of the others, but you can tell he wants to. You might actually go for it, if he brings it up, at least at first…..

Yeah, you’re not sure how you feel about how committed this whole relationship has become. On one hand, whiny lanky cute fish alien who likes to watch movies with you and lets you use him as a pillow, on the other….. Well, you’re not sure, but still, it’s a lot.

None of this, however, does any good for the situation you’re in now.

"OKAY, I KNOW I SAID I REMEMBERED, BUT WOW. APPARENTLY NOT ENOUGH."

His dick. You didn’t remember his dick.

Yeah, you vaguely remember there being some biological differences between trolls and humans, but wow, you were way more focused above the waist, and that thing moves.

"Kar, yours is different too! Don’t gripe about mine!"

He reaches out a cool hand and you suck in a breath as he tentatively touches it with the tip of one finger. The temperature difference is noticeable, even with that small of contact. Your fingers tighten reflexively on his hips.

Up till now, it’d been little things. Thighs smooshed together during movies, gentle claw strokes to your ears while he’d kissed you, pinches at those lumps on his sides, and yeah, lots of makeouts. Makeouts were…odd…. You’d think they’d be bad, but no, one of the things that didn’t get tainted was kissing. Kissing was actually more alright than plain touching had been. 

But no, now you were here. Because at some point you stupidly decided that kissing wasn’t enough, and you wanted the douche to take off his pants. Well this is what we get, past you! The gills had been somewhat expected, cause you’d already gotten to the ones on his neck, but this….

It’s…..Well, it’s a tentacle. Since Eridan’s getting explorative and feeling the texture of your dick in a way that’s some odd mixture of contemplative and “HOLY FUCK MY BOYFRIEND IS TOUCHING MY DICK" you feel the need to get in there. You hesitantly reach a hand out to his slowly waving tentacle dick. Okay, this isn’t so bad…. You slide a thumb along a ridge and it suddenly gets much more lively and starts trying to cling to your hand.

Eridan _moans._

Your eyes dart to his face even as he pulls it into what should probably be a very unattractive expression, except for the fact that holy fuck, you’re doing that to him. His hand’s stilled and right now you really don’t care as you decide firmly that you have a pressing need to figure out what’s going on here. You slide your hand down to the base, keeping your thumb pressing against that ridge.

He shivers.

It takes another hand to distangle his dick from your fingers, but it’s totally worth it to be able to play with the tip of it, even while you encircle the base. Eridan’s eyes are glued to you, and you’re having trouble deciding which part of him to watch, his dick or his face, and oh fucking god, his eyes are huge. He’s chewing on his bottom lip like making any noise is gonna make you let go, when you find something lower behind his dick.

"ERIDAN….. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

You went looking for balls. You did not find balls.

"My nook, Kar! It’s not that complicated! Just slide your fingers up inta it!"

"NO, WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK’S A NOOK? ERI- ERIDAN, STOP CROSSING YOUR EYES LIKE THAT AND ANSWER ME."

Perhaps twisting his dick around your fingers at that precise moment was a bad idea. 

"Oh my cod, Kar, if I havve to explain pailin’ to you I’m gonna- Ooh… I’m gonna lose it and put my pants back on."

At your huffing noise he sits up.

"Oh for the- Fine. This?" he pulls at his dick. “This is a bulge. Flexible, see?" He lifts his dick out of the way and slides fingers down to spread the folds of something that is slick and wet and looks deep. “This? This is a nook. Things go in it. And don’t mix it up wwith my wwaste chute." He glares a bit at that part.

Your mind is now broke. Your boyfriend has both. (You’re not even gonna ask what a waste chute is.) Okay, maybe it’s not that broke, since your fingers are already reaching back to trace along the folds of his…nook(?) while he continues to hold his bulge out of the way. Your finger slides in easily between the edges with little pressure, and the thin high warbly noise Eridan’s making moves you to push your fingers in deeper.

The slick wet noises it makes when you fuck him with you fingers makes you want something else, a possibility you weren’t really sure about before this.

"ERIDAN. Eridan. Can I fuck you?"

He looks at you like you’ve lost every braincell you ever had claim to.

"Kar, wwould I havve taken my pants off if I wwasn’t okay wwith you doin’ so?"

Okay, that stings a bit.

"WELL, HOW ARE YOU SURE IT WILL FIT? LOOK AT YOURS, IT’S ALL WAVY AND THIN AT THE TIP."

You huff and accompany your words with finger thrusts.

"Oh my gog, Kar! It wwill fit! I tried already! It’s not gonna matter here in a second if you don’t stop that!"

You pause and slide your fingers out.

"TRIED WITH WHAT?"

He turns a magnificent shade of purple before muttering something about human dildos and research, and oh. Oh, you are going to have a meltdown right here. That was not the answer you were worried about. The intimate knowledge of his nook is now put to horrible(wonderful) use in the mental picture of him fucking himself with a dildo.

Your face must be forty shades of red, because he asks you if you’re okay while you’re frozen between his legs. That’s enough to knock you out of your mental shutdown, and into kissing him as hard as you can. He’s shuddering beneath you even as you drag your dick through his folds as you line yourself up.

Oh god.

Oh god. This really shouldn’t feel this good, as much cooler as he is than you, but holy crap….. Wow…. No, this is great….. You pull your hips back and thrust a bit, making Eridan yelp a bit, even as he tries to wrap his legs around your waist.

Your mind feels fogged over, but even so, you have to watch him. You’re doing this to him. His eyes are closed tight, even as his mouth falls open in a moan. You tip your hips back a little, and his eyes fly open again. It’s a circle of sensations. You drag your dick back through him, pulling the tip across the more textured top of his nook, and watch him buck and shake. You grind back in, and he throws his head back and whines.

His whimpers complete the perception lockdown, all focused on him, sight, sound, scent, taste, and touch, and very quickly you find yourself getting close. 

"ERI- ERIDAN. FUCK! TELL ME YOU’RE CLOSE. PLEASE."

He whimpers, and tries to gasp out something, but the only sounds coming out of him don’t line up as words, and you’re more stuck on the way his mouth looks, all wet and open as he shivers, than the answer to your question. There was a reason you asked, right? Something about….about…..Oh!

Eridan clenches in a particularly mind-blowing way, and you whine and kiss him as you slide over. You’re just sentient enough to feel a cool splash of something down your front and between your thighs. 

The first thing you become aware of is Eridan cooing in your ear. Just little noises, soft and rhythmic, as his fingers knead at your back. He sounds so happy to be here, like he wants to, like you’re safe and heard, that of course, you burst into tears against him. You can’t really explain why to him, just a overload of feelings, feelings that are of themselves, scary in some ways, but he seems to get it, or at least care enough to smoosh himself against you and croon, whispering how flushed he is for you, how wonderful you are, and somehow, the end result is okay. You sniffle, and rub snot everywhere, but it’s good, it’s great. 

"Hey… You okay?…."

"YEAH…… JUST GIVE ME A SEC- OH MY GOD….. ERIDAN, WHAT THE- WHY- PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S NOT BLOOD."

He starts laughing, and it takes him a second to explain, that no, that’s his spooge (Genetic fluid. Why do they call it genetic fluid? Did you used to call it genetic fluid? And is this going to be an issue, because you sure as hell don’t come that much.)

"HOLY FUCK, I AM SO GLAD WE WERE DOING THIS ON YOUR PURPLE COUCH OF DOOM, GOOD GRIEF! IT’S EVERYWHERE!"

"Yeah. I forget ta get a bucket. Oh wwell. Not the first time this has happened."

"ON YOUR FUCKING COUCH!? DUDE, WE WATCH MOVIES HERE! OH MY FUCK, HAVE WE BEEN-"

"No! Cod! Just help me clean up!" 

"AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUCKET- OH. I GUESS THAT DOES MAKE SENSE. WHATEVER, TOTALLY ON YOUR OWN THERE, YOU MADE THE MESS."

"Wwhat!? Kar!!!"

Despite your protests, you do help him. Luckily the drainage vents in the floor help, but you swear you’re burning that couch, no matter what he says. You’re not watching movies in his spooge, no matter if he claims he cleaned it up well. By the time you’re done, between the sex, and the cleaning, you’re wiped, and ready to curl around him. 

When he slides in next to you on the bed, you try to focus on how it feels different to share one, but sleepiness is fogging your head. 

"Hey, Kar?… Wwould you maybe wwant ta go see the rest a them some time?….I mean since you’vve been talkin’ about wwantin’ ta do somethin’ different….."

"…..YEAH…. I THINK I’D LIKE THAT…. WITH YOU?"

"Of course wwith me, dummy. Wwho else wwere you plannin’ on ridin’ wwith?"

"SHUT UP, STUPID QUESTION. YEAH, I’LL….I’LL GO."

"Okay…Flushed for you, Kar…."

"….Yeah…. Me too- WAIT! I MEANT I’M FLUSHED FOR- STOP LAUGHING!"

You think you’re okay with this. Maybe more than okay. Maybe great. Either way, you’re on you’re way to encounter your past, and maybe see some more of your future. With a fish douche. And a spooge-purple couch. That you’re going to burn. 

Something about all that makes you smile as you fall asleep against said fish douche, and you sleep dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at NuclearVampire.tumblr.com


End file.
